Why Motherhood Shouldn’t Be the Highest Goal

There’s this story that circulates that clutters up womanhood. It’s the story that motherhood is the supreme calling of women. That there’s nothing greater that you could do or aspire to. That- above all else- you should want to be a mama and nothing will matter more than that.

There’s only one problem.

I can’t find that in the Bible.

I understand where the narrative comes from. We live in a culture that diminishes the work of mothers and the value of children and even the beauty of life. We live in a society that tells stories about motherhood that aren’t true. But we do motherhood a disservice when we combat lies with lies.

There are several problems with believing that motherhood is the highest calling of ALL women.

It stalls your vision for now. What if you aren’t a mother? What if you are a high school student, a college student, an employee? What about the masses of women that are unable to have children? What about the women that will remain single throughout their lives? Surely you can’t believe that they are missing out on God’s best or that their work is second rate. Viewing motherhood as the highest calling of women robs you of the ability to invest in where you are now. It puts the prize somewhere out in front of you, promoting discontent and even unfaithfulness with the current work.

It sets up an unrealistic expectation for motherhood. Motherhood is like any other work- it’s work. Some days it’s hard and exhausting and you’d like to quit and you’re sure you’re not doing any of it right. If you believe that’s the highest calling for your life you’re going to be disillusioned really quickly. It’s work, and unnoticed work at that. Does motherhood have beautiful parts? Of course it does. But it’s not perfection and it won’t change the woman you are when you get there. It’s like expecting to become more spiritual when you become a missionary. I think it’s actually the other way around; all of your flaws and struggles are magnified by motherhood.

It takes your eyes off Jesus. Instead of looking to Jesus, you are looking for motherhood to give your life meaning and focus and value. You will never find those things outside of Christ. You cannot idolize motherhood without running into problems. Your eyes need to be on Jesus no matter where you are, not on a role or a position or anything else.

I think you all know that I think motherhood is important. But it’s not more important than anything else God has given you to do (especially if you aren’t actually a mama). What you need to do is take whatever work God gives you and do it for His glory. Then repeat every day. That means if you are in school, you handle that for His glory. It’s not about the one role; it’s about the daily interactions with other people, it’s taking your thoughts captive, it’s hiding His Word in your heart. It’s representing Him in every decision and choice that you make. Then no matter what your role or position you find that you do it better because the goal is Jesus. The focus is Jesus.

If my goal is to rock at motherhood, I’ll drop a lot of other things in an attempt to impress myself or others. If my goal is to honor Christ, then I can become a better mother while also reaching out to the person at the grocery store.

If you adopt the mindset of honoring Christ in all you do instead of waiting on motherhood, you will transition into motherhood much better than expecting it to meet all your expectations about your life work. And you never know- God might actually have you do something along with mothering, you know, like be a wife (I didn’t even get into what this narrative means for your marriage) or a Sunday School teacher or a nurse.

Don’t wait on motherhood to fulfill your dreams. And if you’re already a mama, stop waiting for it to be amazing. Look to Jesus and do whatever He has given you to do- right now- for Him.