Just Carry Today

I’ll be 35 weeks pregnant tomorrow. It’s very easy for me to look at the next four months and feel extremely overwhelmed. I know I’ll have to journey through these last weeks of being pregnant and I’m tired. And then there’s the great mental debate: When will this baby come? Will the baby have IVA? How will labor and delivery go?

Then there’s a whole new set of emotions with a new baby and three children and hormones and a post-baby body and acclimating to a new rhythm and being exhausted. When I consider all of that as a whole, I feel like I’m slowly sinking in a quicksand that might kill me this time.

(Being pregnant after the first time is great because you have some idea of what’s coming and that it does eventually go away. Being pregnant after the first time is horrible because you know what’s coming.)

When I look at the next four months, I can easily dread the whole time. It can seem that not one good thing will come out of it except the baby and life can look a little grim, to be honest.

Last week I realized a truth that I keep forgetting. I only have to do today. 

I don’t have to look at the next four months. I don’t even have to look at this week. I don’t have to see Justin’s work schedule and the appointments and to-do lists of running our home. A reasonable list for each day can turn into an overwhelming amount of work when you pile up 7-21 days of it.

I only have to do today. Can I do today? Sure I can. If it’s just today, I can answer my kids calmly because I’m not imagining answering that same questions calmly for the next five years. I can deal with being uncomfortable today because I’m not imagining being uncomfortable for the next two months. I can sweep the floor after breakfast because I’m not looking at twenty more years of sweeping the floor.

When I look at the next four months, I see all the challenges. When I look at today, I can see the treasure. I’m growing this gift of gratitude and it’s transforming my heart every day. I see the beauty of the sunrise, taste the deliciousness of iced coffee, feel the joy of kissing my husband goodbye. I notice the toddler kisses and the amazing moments of watching a child grow. I can track the progress I’m making in my sketchbook and in our reading lessons. I see the baby ants and caterpillars on the sidewalk; I treasure the baby kicks inside me; I hold my husband’s hand on the couch. I feel the comfort of my pillow before I drift off to sleep. And yes, the day always contains hard things but hard isn’t bad, especially if it’s just today.

A hard day seems like it could also be a good day. A hard four months seems unbearable.

You may not be getting ready to have another baby. You may be facing another challenge or life change or dramatic shift. Or maybe you just see months and months of the same routine weighing you down. This same thing works for you. Instead of carrying the emotional weight of the next six months, move forward into today. Give today all that God has given you. It’s all you have to carry. Pray over the challenges. Plan for them. But don’t carry them around with you every moment.

So here’s to today. I can do that for today when it seems impossible for the next four months.

I have one desire now- to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it. Elisabeth Elliot