When Life Reveals You’re a Liar

How’s life with a new baby really going, you ask?

Honestly? Everything I thought would be hard with a new baby and three older boys is hard. Not bad- there’s no need to stage an intervention unless that intervention involves naps, coffee, and pretzels. It’s just hard. I was apparently under no illusions about what having a baby is like; this is fully what I expected.

I don’t want any of it to change. I love my boys. I love this opportunity to mother them. I just want to be better at it. And you can’t skip steps like that. The only way I’m going to get better at it is by doing it.

It’s just like starting a workout program. Even the basics are hard in the beginning. You’re going to puff and huff trying to jog half a mile. You’re going to find that your muscles are shaking after five pushups. Even if you’ve done it before, if you haven’t done it in a while you have to start over. The only difference is that you know how to do it and that you can do it.

When you start a workout and you complain to a friend that your muscles are sore and you hate getting up to go run and everyone else is doing a more intense/exciting workout than you, they don’t say, “Poor thing. Sorry your life is so bad.” They say, “That’s ok. Keep going. You’re going to get better. You’re going to get stronger and faster and you’ll be doing those things soon too.”

You don’t really go around complaining that life is hard when you’re snuggling your sweet baby in your arms. It seems like a ridiculous complaint especially when you know that life isn’t bad. So I’m being my own cheering section here. And maybe it’s not a new baby for you. Maybe you moved to a new city or started a new job or got married or went through some other transition that- although good- might be hard as well. I’m cheering for you too.

Hard can be good. When things are hard and you keep going, you get stronger. You learn to do things that you couldn’t do before. When things get hard you have to push into that resistance. You can’t quit. You might want to go back to bed and stay there but you get up, pour your coffee, and tackle the next thing with a lot of prayer. When things get hard, you see how much you need Jesus. When you only have to do the things that you want you end up spoiled. You take the easy way and miss out on what you really wanted.

You’re growing. You’re getting stronger. It’s really easy to say that you want personal growth but when you would choose to skip the hard stuff because it’s hard you prove you’re a liar. The hard stuff is how personal growth happens. The hard stuff is where you learn to do differently, to do better. The hard stuff is where you learn to prioritize and listen to God’s voice instead of just doing whatever you want.

Don’t quit because it’s hard. Don’t decide that you weren’t cut out for this work or that God picked the wrong person. Don’t decide that you’ll always be miserable. Do the work and know you’re getting better at it.

I’ve told myself for years that growth is part of life. I have to get uncomfortable, do things I’m not used to doing, be stretched in order to grow. I’ve also said that’s what I want. I’ve claimed that I don’t want to stay stagnant and comfortable. But then real life happens and proves that I’m a liar. I’d take easy any time; I dread walking into situations that I know are going to challenge me.

But God loves me too much for that. He takes me by the hand and we walk forward into the hard stuff and He goes right beside me. I’m not alone. It might be more than I can handle but it’s never more than He can handle. And He does a work in my life that all the ease could never accomplish, even with the best of intentions on my part.

So how’s life with a new baby? It’s beautiful and hard. And I’m so grateful for both.