When We Listen to Lies

Sometimes I get to ten in the morning and realize I’m ready to go back to bed. The kids are fighting. I already feel behind. I think, “What’s the point in going on when I’m making such a mess?”

We are all telling ourselves an internal story. Every single day, we are the voice in our heads. We also determine what outside voices we internalize. Over the past ten years I’ve learned that I can’t listen to myself; I have to talk to myself instead.

This is one reason I’ve tried to cultivate an attitude of gratefulness. There is a big difference between focusing on the bad things or the hard things and intentionally searching for and listing the wonderful things that occur. That has become part of my internal voice but I still have to fight for it.

I also regularly remind myself that Jesus is the prize. I decide if I’m waiting for things to change to have joy and purpose or if I only need Jesus. You also get to decide that. If we are waiting for a thing (a baby, a job, a boyfriend, a happy marriage) when we get that thing, there will be something else. It will come with a problem. It will be harder than we anticipated. If we are only looking at Jesus, He will always be enough. He will be what we need when we are waiting, when we are in need, when we don’t like where we are.

Those are things I’m learning and regularly reminding myself. Why? Because I shape the voice in my head.

The voice in my head tells me a lot of lies and half-truths. When I listen to myself I’m sure that I’m a failure. Guess what? I am. I’m sure that I can’t do anything. Guess what? I can’t. When I listen to myself, I’m better than or much worse than other women. Guess what? Both are true and neither matter. What matters is that I replace my thoughts with God’s.

I have to stop and correct the lies I tell myself with the truth of God. It’s not an easy thing to do but the results if I don’t do it can be tragic.

In the story of Lot (Genesis 19 if you want to check it out), two of his daughters also escaped Sodom with him. They fled to the mountains and said a blatant lie. They said there was not a man on earth to come in to them. Now really? They just left a city to hide in the mountains so they knew there were other men. They could walk back to that city. And yet, they acted on this lie that they spoke over their lives.

What if they had stopped and confronted the lie they told themselves? What if the younger had said to her older sister, “You’re a crazy person. You heard what you just said, right? That’s not true.” But they never asked if what they were believing was true.

Now before we get too harsh with them (although, really, what a story- go read it), let’s ask ourselves what lies we act on. What lies do we tell in our Christian circles and no one ever gets bold enough to say, “That’s not true. We don’t have to act like that anymore.” Where do we do this exact same thing?

I can think of a few lies that I’m tempted to act on in my life.

Nobody likes me. This significantly impacts how I interact with other people. I get judgy. Instead of giving people the benefit out of the doubt and loving them anyway, I analyze how they act toward me and retreat, thinking only of myself.

I give more to my marriage than my spouse. Sometimes I start looking at how hard I work and ignoring how hard he works. All I see are his lunches out, the quiet airplane rides, the time in the car with no fights. Then I get resentful.

This work I’m doing with my kids doesn’t matter. Often it seems like I rehearse the same truths over and over with my kids and they just don’t get it. I get discouraged because I’m looking at today instead of long-term and I want to quit.

God doesn’t have my best in mind. Sometimes things happen in life that I don’t like and wouldn’t have chosen and it’s easy to think God has forgotten me. It’s easy to think that my plans would have benefited me more. That is never true.

Those may not be your lies. Maybe you hear lies about how God can’t use you based on your past or that your life is on hold because you don’t have kids yet. Maybe it’s something else. Start by identifying your lies.

When we act on lies we are tearing down what God has given us: our relationship with Him, our marriage, our ability to love others. But we have to recognize lies in order to confront them.

Be in the Word.

People who identify counterfeit bills don’t study counterfeit bills, they study real ones. Only by knowing the real thing can we recognize when there’s something off. When we know the Word and we know Who God is we can recognize when our thoughts don’t line up with His truths.

Have people speak truth into your life.

Imagine if Lot’s younger daughter had confronted her older sister’s lies. We need people to step up and say, “That thing you just said? That’s not true. That’s not what you need to base your actions on.” Pick the people carefully, but give some people that power in your life.

Constantly correct your thoughts.

When you are speaking lies to your heart, stop and speak truth over that situation. Maybe you text your husband and thank him for what He does. Maybe you look up a Bible verse that reminds you of God’s love for you. Maybe you start thanking God instead of complaining. This will be a daily or hourly battle. I’ve been working on this for years and it’s still a struggle.

What we are thinking pours out of our lives in our actions and our words. When we listen to lies, we start to believe them and they will show up in how we live.

Let’s bathe ourselves in truth instead.